Hello!
I’m Zach. I’m a writer and spiritual care counselor (or “chaplain” if you’re old school) and I write stories, talks, and articles that help us connect more deeply to ourselves, others, and our world. I write to help us notice the half-true stories we tell ourselves and help us get in touch with something deeper. Awareness = agency.
I’ve always been drawn to stories and wisdom that help me come alive. I found them all over the place, even though I knew I was **supposed** to be finding them in church. In reality, church mostly just made me afraid. I was afraid of hell, afraid of disappointing God, afraid of not believing hard enough… and I dealt with that fear by trying to push it off on other people. (btw, if I tried to evangelize to you between the years 1997 and 2011, I would like to sincerely apologize.) The result? A full-on generalized anxiety disorder by 22.
To cope, I tried to hold on tighter to all my well-thought-out beliefs but (surprise!), that didn’t work. It made things worse. Eventually, I got desperate enough to indulge in some light heresy and, in my hour of weakness, tried mindfulness meditation.
It changed everything.
In The Song of the Bird, Anthony DeMello tells this great story:
The explorer returned to his people, who were eager to know about the Amazon. But how could he ever put into words the feelings that flooded his heart when he saw exotic flowers and heard the night-sounds of the forest; when he sensed the danger of wild beasts or paddled his canoe over treacherous rapids?
He said, “Go and find out for yourselves.” To guide them he drew a map of the river. They pounced upon the map. They framed it in their town hall. They made copies of it for themselves. And all who had a copy considered themselves experts on the river, for did they not know its every turn and bend, how broad it was and how deep, where the rapids were and where the falls?
Anthony DeMello, Song of the Bird
I found this story around that time and realized (to my horror and elation) that this was 100% me. I had been studying a map my whole life. I was an armchair explorer, reading about other people’s experience with the Divine (or, more accurately other people writing about other people writing about other people’s experience of the Divine). For the first time, I was swimming in the Amazon.
I realized that, for me, “God” (and that word started to fall apart **real** quick) was something to be experienced, not believed in.
Everything changed after that. It rocked my faith in the institutional church and gave me the courage to claim the Sacred I was finding everywhere else. I found Richard Rohr and Thich Nhat Hanh and Ram Dass… one thing led to another and now boom, here I am.
I write to help other people experience the Amazon—to nudge them into an awareness of the traps we fall into and give us the agency to make a choice. (Because, again, awareness = agency.) I want to join others who are dissatisfied with (or have been kicked to the curb by) fear-based or controlling religion. I want us to help one another imagine a spirituality that works for us—practices, stories, and wisdom that help us be kind, be free, and connect with the rhythm of the universe. If that sounds helpful to you, welcome.
Peace,
Zach
(Oh, also, if you’re looking for creds, I hold an M. Div. from Baylor University (although they’ve probably disowned me by now), four units of Clinical Pastoral Education, and I’m working towards board certification in spiritual care. I worked for some wonderful progressive churches for about a decade and jumped over into spiritual care in 2021 (along with the other 50 million Americans in “The Great Resignation”). If you really want to know if I’m any good or not, though, check out my writing. The proof is in the paragraphs, and I’m **definitely** not for everybody. If you’re a fan of Aldous Huxley, Yann Martel, Brian McLaren, Philip Pullman, etc., we’ll probably be friends. If you’re more of a Max Lucado, Francine Rivers person… maybe try your local LifeWay. (I mean, we can still be friends, sure, but this probably isn’t your vibe.)